#1 Reason Your Relationships Suffer






This article is from Dr. Margaret Paul, it hit me so profoundly, I wanted to repost it for all of you. Hope you enjoy it as much as I did.  J
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Do you long for healthier, more loving relationships, yet find yourself overly focused on seeking approval from others or meeting another person’s needs… leading to frustration and resentment?     
Are you often dissatisfied with your partner’s ability to “meet” you and provide you with the love you desire? Do you then try to change them, to make them love you?  
You’re not alone...
According to Dr. Margaret Paul, the #1 cause of these feelings and behaviors is self-abandonment.  
What does it mean to abandon yourself? And why does self-abandonment wreak so much havoc in your relationships or keep you from finding a partner?  
There are many ways that we abandon ourselves, according to Dr. Paul — including ignoring our feelings, judging or criticizing ourselves, neglecting our basic needs (water, sleep, good nutrition) and turning to addictions of all types, from drugs to sex to food.  
We also abandon ourselves by blaming others for not making us feel safe, loved, etc. 
When we abandon ourselves in relationships, we’re expecting others to give us what we don’t give to ourselves, and likely what we didn’t receive growing up.

And we actually attract people who meet our same level of self-abandonment...
So they’re unable to give us what we are looking for.  Similarly, we can’t possibly give them what they may desire in a partner.
All of this self-abandonment generates anger, stress, depression or anxiety, and feelings of disconnection from ourselves and the other person. 
The only antidote to self-abandonment is unconditional self-love, according to Dr. Paul, the bestselling author of Do I Have To Give Up Me to Be Loved By You?
After years of meeting with frustrated clients in her psychology practice, Dr. Paul developed the Inner Bonding process, to teach people how to love themselves unconditionally.  
The six-step process of Inner Bonding guides us to come back to ourselves, connect with a higher source of love and wisdom, and learn from and lovingly manage painful feelings.
With a willingness to accept responsibility for our own needs  — and tend to them as a parent would tend to a child’s needs —  we stop abandoning ourselves and start attracting relationships that are truly healthy and loving! 
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I had forgotten to have this posted on my website, www.KimmieKay.com over a week ago.  It’s written in my notebook to do so—completely forgot!  This past Magical Monday, October 9th, the message I received from my spirit guides was to teach about Unconditional Love for Yourself.  
It was a hard class to teach, but I honor what my guides show me to share with you.  If you’d like to read the script, click on the Magical Mondays tab and go to Week 2 Jack of Spades, I believe it goes well with Margaret Paul’s self abandonment message.
With Great Love,

Kimmie

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